You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
