I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize