dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
