still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
