I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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