my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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