I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
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He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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