We're facebook friends in real life
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
