Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
