I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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