hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
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Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You are a booty call, not a friend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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