If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
God, I missed his penis.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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