Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
