**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize