Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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