I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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