wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
