I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize