Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
