u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
