I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
