I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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