Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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