i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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