we have officially lost it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
