then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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