you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
