guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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