Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This house was built for laser tag.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
