My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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