she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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