it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
