I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
