I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize