About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
