No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
