Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
