The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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