shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
