my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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