Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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