And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
