He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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