Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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