i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
