His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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