I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
