Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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