You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize