I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
