you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
