yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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