Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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