Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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