hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
