It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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