Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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